the furever book

Bereavement Help => Just Want To Talk => Topic started by: Angel Bonnie on September 09, 2015, 06:52:22 AM

Title: I miss my Bonnie so bad
Post by: Angel Bonnie on September 09, 2015, 06:52:22 AM
If anyone who has recently lost their furbaby and wants to talk to someone I'm here.

I'd love to talk to someone too.

I live on my own, and only have my fur babies for company, and the loss of my darling Bonnie seems too much to bear. I am grateful for my Twitter family who have been so supportive.

I would love a human here right now just to hug me and let me cry it out but there is no-one.

So please if you need to talk I am here. We can share our grief and maybe it will help us.

Bonnie's muvver
Title: Re: I miss my Bonnie so bad
Post by: Ann Mallypax on September 09, 2015, 12:50:46 PM
Hi Hazel, Bonnie's precious muvva

We want to say so much to you, how we understand your hurt, how time will heal how difficult a time is but they are words..... we all want to send you our love and hugs 'even though virtual' because they are meant from the heart.  Keep posting for us in the memory of Bonnie - perhaps she's taken the role of Matron OTRB.
Title: Re: I miss my Bonnie so bad
Post by: Angel Bonnie on September 09, 2015, 03:20:08 PM
Thank you. I'm so blessed to have so many wonderful friends on Twitter.

I thought I might feel a little tiny bit better tday, but I woke up with an achie in my heart and the tears just flowed and I couldn't stop them.

I will tweet again for Bonnie, once the rawness has left me.

Time goes so quickly, it's over 2 mths now since my brother passed away, and seems just like last week really, so I expect the time will go quickly with Bonnie.

I feel much more grief for her than anyone and anything before, even more than my brother  because she was so vulnerabe, and so depended on me, yet she was still a bolshy bossy independant little vixen., which made me love her more.

The house is not the same without her. I'm on auto pilot thinking about her all the time. And everywhere there are reminders of her and I find myself smelling her favourite toy.

I've put all her coats and halos and collars and bandyannas in a box in the cupboard out of sight, it's too painful to open the cupboard door and see them hanging there.

I don't know what I'll do with them to be honest, I don't want to part with them just yet.

She was going to auction a big 4ft cuddly penguin at Christmas that's stood in my dining room at the moment watiing for her. But that won't happen now. Unless she auctions it from over the bridge, it would be nice to send the money raised to a charity for dogs with disabilities, blindness or Cushings. Something that ties in with her.

I'm thinking of these things to take my mind off how much I love her and how my life will never be the same again.

Thank you for your comforting words, I know they're just words as you say, but they mean the world to me and they make me feel as if I'm not on my own going through this. So they're important words to me.
Title: Re: I miss my Bonnie so bad
Post by: Honeydog on September 10, 2015, 05:07:16 AM
Hi Hazel,
It's Natalie here and my heart just aches for you. I was waiting to hear how the visit went and I feel asleep for a short while since it was very early my time that we were tweeting.  When I awoke just like that I looked on my twitter and you had just posted that Bonnie went OTRB.  It's as if Honey's little spirit nudged me awake saying Bonnie Da Westie is coming to heaven.  I instantly replied in my half asleep dazed state with "Oh No."

The night Honey died, I will never forget her spirit was all around me.  She stayed for quite awhile, everyone could feel her presence.  My bed shook It has that function, but I unplugged it.  Every now and then all my electrical goes haywire and I know it is my Honey girl.  She was the love and light of my life for 18 years. 

I've lived alone for many years just me and her and we were bonded like soul mates.  All of my friends loved her and she was so amazing.  She was like a little person.  She knew how to roll down the windows in the car and she always sat on me or near me.  Some part of her little body had to always be on mine.  We were like glue that little girl and I.  I started a dog biscuit company for her, but my disability took over.  I used to lay in bed with her for many hours and say to her, "Oh, little girl, we both are just tuckered out...we better stay in and rest." She would go "Yeah." she actually said Yeah and talked.  I am always around to chat to.  I have a titanium cage in my back and my bones aren't there so just painful, my left knee had a muscle transfer/  I get around and don't look disabled, but I am and I can't move around for long periods.  In any event, I've always lived as a personification of Honey and vice versa; therefore, FB and Twitter and YouTube all her accounts.  You and Tuxie's mom ere the first people I shared with that Honey was actually OTRB. I wish she was still here everyday.  I still talk to her when I drive in my car.  I wish she was still alive when I joined Zombie Squad, I dressed her up every day to the nines!Glasses, shoes, etc. Since my disability got worse, I live with my friends that are like my family.  Though it is a large house, I often am all alone.  Like now, someone is home, but they are on the other side of eternity and I cannot even hear a peep.  Gabby is downstairs and she and I hang out everyday, but she's a big dog . Maybe I am out of space.

My first reaction was oh no and that I fear you are all alone.  I am here and night my friend.  You loved Bonnie as much as I loved Honey.  18 years...and then one day gone. She wasn't sick at all.
Love, Natalie
Title: Re: I miss my Bonnie so bad
Post by: Angel Bonnie on September 10, 2015, 11:28:28 AM
Yes I'm all alone like you. When my brother died in July this year, he was my last living relative. Neither of us had childen when we were married, so I'm the Dodo of the family and when I go that's the end of it.

So Bonnie was my life.

Title: Re: I miss my Bonnie so bad
Post by: Honeydog on September 10, 2015, 07:44:47 PM
Hi Hazel:
Bonnie and you were lucky to find each other just like me and Honey.  You rescued her from a puppy farm! What a spectacular life she had with you! Don't you worry my friend you are not alone.  If I have to send troops and even come myself, I will!  I've never been to Cornwall, but it looks so beautiful!  You hang on and that little Mojo he needs you now.  Gabby and I spiraled into depression the both of us, it was horrible for bout 2 weeks than we snapped out of it.  I always tell her Honey is looking out after us!
You are blessed with talent and the hugest heart of anyone.  There is a God.  And he just had to call Bonnie home now.  With Bonnie every day was a gift with her.  Cushings is a hard disease.  My little dog Sweet Pea would drink and drink and drink bowls and bowls of water.  I loved that little dog, but Honey she was my one and only Spirit Doggy, she chose me.  She is with me every day!